Articles & Notes — June 5, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Big screen “Killer fish” movies: All money, no class

Last year I was unfortunate enough to sit through “Piranha” with Liz Shue, Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd.

A $24 million budget horror flick made for mass audience not only didn’t impress (mostly), but also made me feel sorry that this mass audience takes such movies as “horror”, while it barely qualifies as one.

Putting aside the fact that “killer piranha” is nothing to be excited about (unless its real), the film is mostly one big “t & a” party.

Basically the whole movie is about a bunch of brainless teenage party animals who have fun in the first part of the film, and get their body parts eaten by piranha in the second part of the film.

I wonder how Shue, Rhames and Lloyd agreed to appear in such stink of a movie. A shame on Richard Dreyfuss too, who appears in the beginning of the film in a boat, and gets eaten by piranha 3-4 minutes later. Someone should’ve used a bigger boat.

According to IMDB, “Piranha” made over $83 million worldwide. Of course, after such return on investment, a sequel had to be made and they did make one…even worse than the original.

Words to describe “Piranha” (2010) – waste of good actors, only for general audience.Words to describe “Piranha 3DD” (2012) – disgusting, stupid, no one to root for, big-budgeted no entertainer.

Just as Richard Dreyfuss is humiliated in the first movie, Gary Busey is humiliated in the sequel. Again we dive into the world of horny teenagers that have no idea that piranha is back and its twice as deadly as before.

Legless Ving Rhames appears in a brief role, same as Christopher Lloyd (who informs us in the end of the film that the piranha is learning to walk… turn on your imagination and picture a third “killer fish” film with walking, man-eating piranha).

Oh I almost forgot about David Hasselhoff who appears here as himself, and makes fun of his own “Baywatch” character.

The $20 million budget sequel to “Piranha”, titled “Piranha 3DD” will probably do good at the box office, just like the first film. And then people can calmly expect “Walking Piranha 3D” or something.

The point is – both films scream “mainstream horror” too loud. Fail on almost every possible level. And personally for me, its sad to see such movies get the spotlight, while other much better made horror flicks bite the dust, and go straght to video, to DVDs or only get shown in a few theaters.

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