I did watch the trailer first, and bought it. 2 minutes of edited footage promised me Michael Madsen as some smartass CIA Agent, and some other bald dude, looking like a much smaller version of Nathan Jones (mixed with Fedor Emelianenko), running around Amsterdam, “looking for revenge”. Ok, I like these kind of movies, besides Amsterdam sounded good, nice change of location.
But that was the 2 minute trailer. The real film is… well, if after reading the review, you decide to stick to the trailer (it’s just below the review), I won’t blame you.
Synopsis: Amsterdam Heavy takes us on a roller-coaster journey in to the violent, criminal heart of Amsterdam. Some bald gangster J.D. (Rik Sinkeldam) is being brought to Amsterdam in a box, where he eventually wakes up.
Shirtless, half-dead, with lost memory, JD now has a score to settle. He will heal up, and go on a hunt for those, who betrayed him, beating the crap out of thugs on the streets, back alleys and canals of Amsterdam. Along the way, he hooks up with some undercover agent girl, who poses as an exotic dancer in a local club.
Turns out, JD was drugged by some goons in Thailand, and then he managed to escape. Now, he desperately needs to know why his partner Gunther set him up. Oh yes, he also wants to find his wife and son, and get a few “tips” from Michael Madsen in a local bar.
The action-packed film features world class K1 and MMA fighters such as Semmy Schilt, Alistair Overeem and Gokhan Saki.
Ok, so far so good. It gets worse however. First dissapointment comes with Michael Madsen. Although on film’s official website they make him look like the leading character, he’s barely 3 minutes in the whole movie (who knows, he probably did this movie as a favor to someone, or the producers accidentally caught him on some party and offered the cameo part), and we only see him sitting in a bar, delivering cheesy dialogue, smoking marijuana, and that’s all. So, the “bait” is weak.
The directing is bad, camera moves around exactly the way you hate it most – just like in Steven Seagal movies, when you can’t see anything. And since this movie has a lot of action (yes, there are plenty of fights) – the shaky cam doesn’t let you see what’s really going on, and it frustrates more and more as the movie goes on.
The film does have one cool scene, where our hero chases some drug dealer on a bicycle, at the same time trying to shoot him down. We’ve seen these kind of chases, but mostly on cars. In Amsterdam, we get bicycles.
The plot is full of holes, there are things we never get to know, yet should, according to the film. Acting is mediocre at best. Even Madsen (who seems to be the only well-known actor here) delivers his lines while looking as much bored as possible.
To sum it up: if you’re a Michael Madsen fan – do yourself a favor and skip this. Doesn’t worth it. If you like action, martial arts and expect a lot of it here – look elsewhere, as the fights are so badly directed and choreographed, you’ll hate it.
The film did have a good start, but got a lot worse as the time went on. Still, if curious, check out the trailer for the movie below.
BZFILM SCALE: 2/10
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