REVIEWS: Horror & SyFy — July 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

REVIEW: River of Darkness (2011)

I first read about the “River of Darkness” film when browsing IMDB for Kevin Nash, the ex-wrestler.

I got interested in the title – and the cast was right up my valley – along with Nash, film promised us Kurt Angle, and Psycho Sid Vicious – three of the most famous WWE wrestlers.

Now, I havent seen Sid since his accident on WWE back in the late 90’s, so I kind of wanted to see him on-screen.

As always, I was naive enough to believe that having Angle, Nash and Vicious in one movie would at least be entertaining.

Angle plays the lead here, he stars as sheriff Logan, who has to deal with series of brutal murders in his little town. And the more bodies he finds, the more mysterious it gets.

Sometime later we are told that two undead brothers (Nash and Vicious) are back from the dead, and they take revenge on the whole town, and now Angle has to stop them, blah blah blah.

Okay, that was rather cheezy and childish, but I thought at least we get to see some fighting… Well, I was wrong again.

This movie has almost no action at all, just a couple of killings, the acting is absolutely awful (yes, that includes Kurt Angle too), and you just don’t really care for any of the characters.

The film is also painfully slow, and I almost fell asleep (I did not because I still wanted to see Sid!). Both Nash and Vicious appear on the screen for 4-5 minutes maximum, and they don’t even do anything.

To sum it up, even if you’re a die-hard wrestling fan, even if you like Angle, Nash or Sid Vicious, do yourself a favor and skip this movie.

Don’t get fooled by any of the covers of this film that you might see, they are all misleading, and the film just doesnt worth your time, trust me.


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